i love you rainbow

tiny ants and rainbow glitter

my heart literally hurts. i’m having trouble breathing. day two of an entirely breaking heart. day three of a new york city heatwave. madness. heat. madness. the pressure is great and my body is so small that it should have burst into tiny little particles blanketing the earth with rainbow glitter. but i’m still here, pressurizing like a pot of rice. rice because i’m asian. i accept it all, breathe it all in no matter how difficult life becomes. i’m doing push ups in my mind, taping up my heart and filling in the holes in my head. once in a while another storm comes breaking me down. i rebuild, again and again. each time, i learn a new task, a new way to rebuild with new tools and each time it’s a new house, similar to the old house but different, better, stronger. i walked around the city today in the rain under an umbrella of cats. rain like monsoon rain so beautiful and scary like it was the end of the world. i watched people like ants. ants like people. people need identification and purpose. ants already have that. they are ants, they eat stuff and process it out their funny bums (and pretty quickly one would guess). then ants just build their homes all day, carrying leaves and dirt to and fro, all day. maybe ants do more things i don’t know about, like go swimming or have dinner parties with other bugs. alone in my room, the train just ten feet outside my window and people talking, experiencing their friday night. this is my friday night. i am a lucky little girl. i am happy and free. i have amazing human connections. i eat really really well and have money to buy things i fancy like lavender bitters, indian spices, two slices of cheesecake i’ll save for later and a carrot cake i eat while walking down park avenue in new york city. i stop to buy sparkling mineral water and add my lavender bitters to it. i ride home stopping to observe human interaction, say hellos and listen to struggles. i continue home to brooklyn, singing to no one but me.

# rainbows ants wisdom buddha love life learning lessons new york city growth spirituality struggles

Posted 11 months ago 1 note

love in my inbox, the beginning of my 108 life

Dear 108 Team

First of all I want to express a deep THANK YOU! For your incredible kindness (once again) for giving of your:
- Mind (every moment you think, plan, remember, wonder, struggle, rejoice on this beautiful activity etc etc etc…)
- Speech (every time you share the idea, you spend on the phone, you welcome others to the project, you say please and thank you etc etc etc…) &
- Body (every time you move your body from place to place to organize, collect, distribute, pick up, drop off, deposit, type, read! end more…)
I’m Thankful for when I see You focused on helping others help others, help others…. for when I hear You passionately tell the 108 story, when I see the fruits of your actions (the people that You get turned-on to the experience of making a difference to a human life, and to many around the world as you grow The 108 Lives Project slowly and steadily.)
I’m Thankful because sometimes I see You making mighty efforts to experience the Three Principle Paths in this beautiful activity.  To transform your mind and heart:
- I see Your moments of Renunciation of not settling for lack of education, poverty, mediocrity, hunger, division and all the the other states that are not acceptable and preventable on this planet, for knowing there is a different way!
- I feel Your moments of Bodhichitta as you tear up for the children we are putting in school, for the love for the volunteers, for making mighty efforts towards a state where you manifest the project with deep love in Your heart for the sake of the 108’rs, the volunteers, fellow students, donors and every other being connected to this experience. For knowing there is a different way to be in the world!
- I witness the toggle between the relative view of this activity and the ultimate. Who is helping who? How are these 108 people Really? what feelings and responses are invoked in each of us? Who are the other volunteers around You?, why are they helping You? Who are the donors? the people who walk into these events, who click on the donate button.? I am in Love when I see you make efforts in this view.
I also know deep in my heart - for all of You who enable others to come to Nepal,  those that will make the trek and lock eyes with these beautiful people and spend special time with each other; I know that the power of your every effort of body speech and mind and the power of your View (renunciation, Love and Wisdom) will deeply transform you spiritual DNA, that thing that informs you and the world around You who You really are and what You are becoming.
I know for many of You it has been a ride, sometimes smooth, sometimes choppy, but never without the special efforts in your consciousness to balance and understand the many things that are happening in our world. And still You press forward. You press forward   in your acts of Love in this world. For all of You who feel and experience this deep thirst for Love and Wisdom within You and have given even a minute’s effort to this precious activity, I am eternally grateful because you continue to remind and teach me that Practice is that very act of perseverance with grace, than unrelenting passionate loving drive for understanding perfectly how our world operates and that conscious capacity to act with the wisdom we possess. 
Thank You for your time, your thoughts, your dedication and your actions towards the 108 Lives, but mostly for your practice of a monumentally meaningful life experience! - Thank You for being a living example of want’s possible with a human Life. I hope each of You are able to deepen and grow the goodness of your actions and find the confidence to run far and wide with the love you find in yourself and others.
Love

# charity fundraiser good deed buddhism buddhist thank you letter thank you

Posted 1 year ago 1 note